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Slowing down

I’ve noticed that the more stuff I have going on in my life, the faster passed my life becomes – the more I consume without being aware of what is going on. Very quickly in a fast tempo day by day routine I start heading for coffee’s, little sugary snacks, treating myself to take away dinners. It gets’ out of hand pretty speedy. Not only I become a mindless consumer wrapped in a sheet of anxiety about the planet and my role in it but I become addicted and dependent on this “too busy” lifestyle. The phrase “After one more “whatever” then I’ll stop” but that after never comes. It just keeps on progressing equally as the dollars in your wallet keep on melting. So then to keep the lifestyle you built – you need more.

Ha! Ironically the antidote to all global problems is the absolute opposite to what most successful spiritual and yoga influencers are doing – it’s about slowing down and simplifying. And if we mortals cannot do it – we are really f**ked then. Honestly I can’t do it without some interference from The Creator, God, Universe, Energy call it whatever. I have a terrible gift – I’m very sensitive to stress and have a very low capacity to handle bullshit, so I get depressed, sad, burned out in environments that lack purpose, time and support. So even if I wanted to indulge in modern day lifestyle – I cannot. I get sick (physically and menially) when things become too fast and too toxic. I once drove myself to a nervous breakdown trying to ignore signals and came to a halting stop when I was diagnosed with long-term nervous exhaustion just in the beginning of my twenties. I was told I have to change my lifestyle and honestly till now I have problems controlling my workaholic and overachieving personality. I am very quick to get involved in new ideas, get lost in creative ideas, mostly not even my own and I have huge problems with communicating boundaries. I also seem to forget that work is work and give a little too much, I’m sure all creative people can relate.

But life has it’s own hacks and always finds ways to stop me. I used to think it was really lame that I just couldn’t handle it anymore and always had to quit my jobs or leave companies that I worked so hard to get into and always felt shame and guilt because I honestly thought I was a shit creative that just couldn’t be in the industry, well not in a creative industry that sucks the life out of you.

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